Contrary to popular opinion, not all Swedes are blond and blue-eyed. Only about 83.17% are. So here are some clues as to how identify a real Swede in a crowd.
1. Picture following scenario: you are walking down the street dressed in a man's jacket, scarf, ear-muffs, anything to keep out the cold and a girl strides past wearing wellingtons (as last seen on My Little Farm) and no discernible pants. At -7 C. This is, without a doubt, as Swede (general pantlessness in favour of skirts, tights, leggings, shorts is visible at all times of the year).
2. An attractive young man coming into the bar catches your eye. If you are not sure, however, if this is the token Swede you would like to bring home to show off to you friends, do not fear. Wait until said young man has taken off the dark-blue wooly hat (already a pretty good sign) and exposed his haircut. If his hair is shaved on the sides, but has more "cupcake-like" pouf on the top than Goldie Hawn when she was young, this, too, is a member of the Swedish nation.
3. If said nice young man had a three-hour conversation with you over a beer but does not meet your eye the next day while walking past on said street where you are admiring the unclad legs of a Swedess, then here is the ultimate piece of evidence. Do you detect a note of bitterness? Yes, dammit, you do.
